Lost Before the Beginning
by sharks.with.lasers
Summary: The unclaimed's post-war struggle: PTSD, a place she doesn't belong, and a secret so terrible she's afraid to even think about it.


Meredith stood near the back of the room, staring at the ground and trying to be invisible. There were a few others trying to do the same, shifting nervously from foot to foot and pulling at clothing. It had always been so easy to fall into the background, with her average looks. So why, all of a sudden, did she feel like the center of attention?

She got a few "accidental" shoulder bumps, and more than a few icy looks. She supposed she had it coming. Only Percy actually smiled at her, and she smiled back. He was nice, Meredith thought. Nice enough to disarm, knock unconscious, or in any other way render Kronos's demigods incapable of fighting without killing them.

"So, what should we do with them?" Clarisse said, not even bothering to look at the "them" in question. Her tone suggested something disgusting. Slime. Not fit to lick the dirt off her boots, which were propped up on the table.

"We build them cabins. We accept them. We give them what they've been denied," Percy said.

"Oh, don't start," the Apollo cabin boy said. What happened to Will?

"Well, they proved helpful to Kronos's side in the war. We don't want a repeat of that," Annabeth said.

"You're just parroting your mom," Clarisse accused.

Annabeth got up very quickly, knife in hand. People began to shout.

"Silence! Sit down! Weapons away!" Chiron ordered loudly, stomping a hoof on the ground.

Annabeth and Clarisse were the last two to follow this edict, but eventually did, settling for folding their arms and glaring across the table.

"Well, Annabeth has a point," Miranda Gardner, who had been appointed at Katie's death, said. At the beginning of more murmuring that threatened to turn quickly to shouting, she raised her voice, "But at the same time, so does Clarisse." Satisfied that she could speak in peace, she continued, "They're still traitors. So we should treat them as such, and leave them to the mercy of the monsters."

Percy looked outraged, but people were nodding in agreement.

"After all, they were pretty eager to get buddy-buddy with the monsters during the war," Miranda said. "And it's partly their fault… Katie…" she trailed off, looking down sadly.

"Will," the new Apollo cabin counselor said.

Soon, people were going around the table, stating the names of brothers, sisters, and friends they had lost. Percy shot Annabeth a pleading look. Annabeth sighed, shook her head, and gave Percy a disappointed look. She closed her eyes, looking down, before speaking.

"They are all partly responsible for the deaths of our loved ones," Annabeth spoke over the chatter. "Needless to say, they are going to get what's coming to them in the Fields of Punishment."

People nodded, agreeing with her. Percy looked betrayed.

"But why send them to their prisons now? Why do they deserve closure, while we mourn our lost siblings? I say we let them live-let them stay in their damn cabins. What does it harm us, if they have to live with the knowledge of what they did? And, the next time some impossible war comes along… guess who we can put on the front lines, to soften up the enemy?"

Percy winced, but didn't speak out against her. More agreement.

"I like it," Clarisse said. "Wouldn'ta been my first thought, but I like it."

People were nodding, and the chatter soon reached a level that made Meredith clap her hands over her ears, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. She shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the noise, but it kept pressing on her, getting louder and louder, strangling her.

Chiron banged his hoof on the ground again, signaling silence. The noise stopped, but it echoed in Meredith's skull.

_No more, no more, no more, _Meredith thought, wrapping her arms around herself and continuing to rock. _No more, please, no more._

And then she was lost.

Battle raged in her ears. It wasn't a heroic sound, like people would think. It was the wet noises of weapons being pulled out of bodies. It was screams of terror and pain. The whispers of ghosts before they passed on, clawing at Meredith's mind.

When Meredith's most recent blackout was over, people were shoving past her. The meeting was over. She looked up to see Annabeth Chase staring her, not a bitter stare filled with disgust, as she was expecting. Her face was searching, as if she wanted to know how a scrawny girl like Meredith could have caused any problems.

"Thank you," said Meredith, her voice hoarse like she'd been screaming. "I mean, for sparing us."

"I didn't do it for you," Annabeth informed her simply before walking out.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, and instinctively knew it was Joe. He didn't say anything. No words were needed.


End file.
